Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
