then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
