Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
