dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
That was before I lit my hair on fire
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
