i'm lost and i look like a hooker
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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