the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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