i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
