I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Randomize
