gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Randomize
