It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
