I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
MIDGETS
????
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
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