she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Randomize