I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
