Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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