dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
