wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Randomize
