If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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