Nicole vs. Life
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
