"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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