omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
