You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
