NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
