oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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