when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
