we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
