we're blogging at a bar
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
