I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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