blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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