Im at strip club and am horny
Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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