yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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