Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
