And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
