Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
he thought i was a dude.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
