This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
