That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Randomize
