found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
