.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Randomize
