Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
