Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
