I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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