she looked like the bat from fern gully.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
