Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Of course I have a pirate flag
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Randomize
