hell yes lets make some ravioli
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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