So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
