i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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