So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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