ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Randomize
