feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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