So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
My liver just had a heart attack.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
