Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
