Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
