The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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