No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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