i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
She needs sedatives and a leash
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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