I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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