i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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